Why So Sporadic?

A token Heath Ledger parody line never hurts.

So, the folks who still come here regularly may note the serious shortage of content lately at the blog. That’s partly my fault, because of some very serious real life troubles that have held me down recently. When you find out that your future is nigh hopeless thanks to some boneheaded decisions you made while trying to prevent a fight with the missus, well… your wallet suddenly starts to feel a whole lot lighter.

In any event, we’re now prepared to resume normal service. Have no fear: the tingling sensation will subside momentarily, now that Horseman Dan and Co. are back in your lives.

Party on, Wayne.

The Five Rules of Marriage (For Beginners and Would-Be Hubbies)

I know what you’re thinking. Why should the guy have all the rules in the marriage? Shouldn’t women have an equal amount of responsibility in keeping things going in the union? Huh, that’s what the sad saps who sell marriage off on unsuspecting fools like to say. For those of us in the trenches, we know better.

Here’s a little help in getting through your marriage better…

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Quick Hits: 2.7.12

Decided to do a few quick hits in lieu of a major post tonight. Things to do, people to see on the Military Channel and all that jazz.

  • Rick Santorum has an early lead in the Colorado Primary, and has claimed the Missouri and Minnesota primaries in something of a surprise, but not really if you buy into Romney. I think this is a pretty significant step forward for Santorum; he can’t win in the General Election, but damned if he isn’t making a strong case to be a VP candidate.
  • Do you ever have moments where a person says one thing, a group of people trash them for it, then you come up and say “No, screw you just out of spite? Had one of those moments today; I love Boston and the Boston-area sports teams like no other (except the teams that I like more), but dear Beantown, Horseman Dan says shut the Hell up and leave Brady’s H.P.o.A. alone.
  • I just had a bowl of cookies ‘n’ cream ice cream. It was delicious.
  • Seriously, have I mentioned that Giselle is hot?


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Why, God? Why?

If there’s one thing I hate more than the New York Giants, it’s Eli “Daddy’s Girl” Manning winning MVP of Super Bowl XLVI. Just… whatever. Time for basketball-racing-spring training.

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MRSA Sucks, and Other Tidbits

So, the blog came crashing down in my absence, thanks to an infection that made life more than a little miserable for awhile. Nonetheless, your intrepid friend and resident dweeb is back and ready to delight the dozens of people who call this place home.

Also, get me hits at Bleacher Report, people!



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Dear Southeastern Conference…

You’re welcome.

Sincerely, the 2012 BCS National Champion Alabama Crimson Tide!

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Just, ah… wow. Denver has no chance in New England next week, but congrats to the Broncos for making New England fans very happy tonight.

How George the Lion gained his Limp


 “One is an ordinary chap.”

Wait, what?
I can understand that for the first few seconds you’re confused. Seeing a picture of a smug, Eton ‘boy’ with a pint of beer following the caption ‘one is an ordinary chap’ when he isn’t is quite confusing. For those of you who didn’t get confused and could tell what I was on about, well done.
For the very few of you who don’t know who this man is, it’s David Cameron, the Prime Minister of the UK. Nick Clegg, his ‘Deputy’ PM, would probably also be visible in this picture, though he’s still humping Davids leg. He didn’t even need a drop of beer for it.
So, this is a rant about the UK?
Yes. Though I would try an attempt to give you a proper overview, there’s not much point for the simple reason that the reputation of the UK is broken beyond repair, so I have no hesitation in ripping my own chunk off the bone of the government at Westminster. Not much point in doing that either, all that would come off would be garbage.
Why so negative already?
If you already live in the UK, you should know why. If you don’t, I’m sure you could hazard a decent guess.
Well, get on with it.
Ever since the Conservative-Lib Dem Coalition came into power in 2010, we all knew it wasn’t going to work. It’d be worse than the ‘Flinstones’ marriage counselling. Don’t worry if you don’t get that, just take in mind that it’d be a mess. A real mess.
And we were all right. Once again the ideal that replacing the last, as always hated government (lets not even go down the Gordon Brown route) with the next biggest party took hold of us all and made us go practically begging to David Cameron, pleading with him to kick out the nasty fat scotsman from Number Ten. Who couldn’t even count, from what I recall.
It all turned into an episode of ‘EastEnders’ however, as we gained a ‘hung parliment’. Panic ensued with those who found themselves being brainwashed by the general ignorance of tabloids, which was quite a few people. In a dash to seize power, meetings were held between the top three parties on who should partner with who. Labour missed out from the beginning, after a certain bloke spoke his mind aloud.


 “Good game, guys.”

That left only one choice, which would form a, in the nicest words possible, retarded coalition. The Liberal Democrats. Though going strong in pre-election polls, Nick Clegg and his party bottomed out come election day. They were the only choice left for the Conservatives. A right-wing party grouping with a left-wing party. The perfect partnership, surely?

Perhaps it was from smoking weed (being liberal in all) or from being kidnapped by the Conservatives and being forced to watch a continuous loop of Nyan Cat, it wasn’t long until Nick Clegg and his party agreed with David Cameron. Panic over, one big happy family united. Well, for about thirty minutes, then when the Number Ten door closed: “cup of coffee please, Nick.”

What about now?

Even now after two years, only the most minor of promises have been kept. The Liberals have been reduced to nothing (coming behind UKIP and even the BNP in some bi-elections), not even being able to fight for any of their aims, such as scrapping the nuclear submarine. Perhaps painting it yellow, would give them something to smile about. Though lets not let them sing in it, for the love of god.

As for the Conservatives, well, David may be the top dog with his own little bitch, but he hasn’t been given too many luxuries by the public themselves. For example, we’ve been biting at him about pay for chief executives and their ‘packages’. They’re not going to do anything about it. The  personal motto of the Conservatives: “Money, Money, Money!”

And even if they did try to do anything about it, ‘The City’ would practically base themselves somewhere else. Rage quitting is a bad habit, children.

Then there’s the constant rebellions within the Conservatives Main Base. Yes, seven people saying ‘no’ is a rebellion in the UK. Eight is a revolution. It’s pure madness. The Liberals have obviously been sharing their weed with the rest of the house.

As a clever columnist says: “It’s a ConDem Nation.”  Heh. Good old columnist humour.

 …This was a sketchy mess.
Probably. There’s not much more to say then, simply, we’re fucked.


 Nick Clegg: “Revenge shall be mine…”
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The year is 2012…

And thus, let us begin and name a few things: The Dark Knight Rises, the Hobbit, Prometheus, the Bourne Legacy, and Men in black 3 as well as the Avengers. Highly looked forward too, predictably blockbuster films, all of which are coming out in good ol’ 2012. Other, perhaps lesser known films that I personally look forward to are also slated for this jolly old year, one such being Chronicle and yet another being Salmon Fishing in the Yemen. The Dictator is also looking to be kind of, possibly good if it isn’t totally shat on by crude, family guy-esque jokes and that battleship movie is looking…different, to say the least.
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